Our little Ella was a big surprise in a tiny package
When we first found out that we were having a baby, she was the size of a poppy seed. This ended up being her nickname for the next few months, despite her 'sprouting' into new 'fruits and vegetables' every week, according to the numerous apps I had downloaded to my phone. This nickname was extra special because it was also the name of one of my grandfathers, as well. We knew from the very beginning that our little poppy seed was a gift sent from heaven.
At 38 years old, I was not planning on having any children. I had even convinced myself that I either couldn't have them or just wasn't meant to have any. To say the least, our tiny poppy seed was a BIG surprise! God definitely had some different plans then we did.
At our 20 week ultrasound, our doctor told us that he saw her stomach next to her heart and that he suspected a congenital diaphragmatic hernia. A what? Can you spell that?? I wasn't sure how I felt about this. Our doctor stayed quite calm. I didn't feel fear. I kinda just felt like, 'Okay. This will be okay.' He didn't seem super worried. "Is this serious?" "Can it be fixed?" He was vague on the answers. I can only imagine now what was actually going through his head and what he didn't want to say.
"Can this effect her lungs," I asked after a few minutes of taking this in.
He looked at me sideways, "You're smart. That is a concern."
I just have a basic knowledge of anatomy. Little did I know just how much of a concern this actually was!
He referred us to the neonatal team at Johns Hopkins All Children's Hospital in St. Petersburg, Florida and said that he would no longer be our doctor. (At that moment, that news hit me even harder. He had delivered my nephews. I wanted him to deliver our baby girl.) We didn't know at that time what a blessing this referral would end up being, though. Not only would they confirm his suspicions of CDH and monitor us very closely, there was also entire unit there that specialized in this. The best part of that was that we only lived about an hour away from St. Petersburg. We would later find out that families came from all over the world to seek out help here.
After leaving the doctor's office that afternoon, I fought the urge to search this mystery diagnosis online. Before I knew it, my curiosity got the best of me and every gloom and doom article out there about CDH littered my phone screen. No wonder our doctor had been so evasive with the answers. According to the world wide web, this was pretty much a death sentence for our little poppy seed.
That's when the fear crept in.
I cried. Will soothed. He's really good at that.
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